Could You Be Lorie

Inflation? Discrimination? A not so hard-knock-down power, we can still hang on lifting the lever. One giant family problem, however, is enough to crush an OFW’s spirit. In Hong Kong today, there are 120,000 working Filipinos. Daily, more than 240,000 stories are told. We hear endless with shades of pink, black, and blue, from Sunny Bay to Tai Tam Hills, from Wanchai bars to St. Alfred’s church.

I love the wisdom of this person when she told me, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” A very inspiring lady with a very inspiring life. Allow me to share to you…

Lorie ran away from home when she was 17 years old. Home was 10 brothers and sisters. She’s the 7th. Their father, a soldier, left them for a call of mission and for a younger wife. Life was hard, a hand to mouth existence. Their mother a market vendor, overburdened with responsibilities, didn’t survive long enough. Tormented, she died of disease.

Lorie was desperate of affection, for a dream of what she is to be, for a place where she feels safe. A 24 year old man found her. They lived together and born 2 sons. Simple and content but not until years later when her refuge, pride and sense of belonging dwindled. The man who promised love and security learned to appreciate smoke, alcohol and other women. A young mother, a domesticated partner, again in a much greater pain and isolation. She headed abroad for redemption-purpose and freedom. Though she missed her beloved sons deeply, hope gave her endurance to hold on, knowing she could provide them a better future. She worked in Dubai for 4 years then bounded to Hong Kong. Her partner remained unchanged, never reciprocates generosity and sacrifice. Vices, distance, silence and the truth of his non-stop affairs (of 2 he made pregnant) pushed Lorie to disclaim hopes and resistance. She’s responsible but also young (32), vulnerable, unloved.

She discovered new friends and new places. For comfort, she became a week-end barfly. She had many failed relationships at varying degree of attachment, casual-deep, platonic-sexual, at different times, with different races. Worst of all doings, she twice had an abortion. Lorie lost confidence and worth. So consumed with guilt and misery that many times she contemplated to simply just vanish on the face of the earth. Having 2 children, reminded unfulfilled dreams, the blessing of chances and choices, realized she has bigger reasons to fight and live.

That was 19 years ago. Currently, her first son is an engineer, the second a nurse. Both thriving, wonderful and the lights of her life. Reconciled to a totally changed man who fathered her children, she finally married him in 2000.

Her reunion with her father released her from prolonged hurts and unforgiveness. At his grave, heart opened, said farewell, prayed, and thankful of the circumstances at young age that brought out the new person that she is. Now, a committed servant of God, straightened, strengthened, grateful, and proud.

Some of you out there will probably say, “Hey, Belle! That’s a good story with a glorious ending, what about us under the dark clouds?” Well, read again, stop at the middle. But I don’t wish you do for as much as I want you to feel the emptiness, guilt, despair, bitterness, I hope you could focus, partake in the hard-fought triumph of selfless sacrifice, perseverance, forgiveness and God’s love.

And I can also tell you stories with sorrowful end. Tales of failed dreams, of broken relationships, of abused sacrifice, of tragic events. Each of us has different stories to tell, struggles to cope. Down, dispirited, yung iba tumigil nang magsaya, umasa at mangarap. Harsh realities can pierce human heart and soul. Choices we do make, to dwell in the alley of darkness or to walk up and follow the path to light.

Like Lorie, I also believe in God. Just as when my grandmother always reminds me, “Troubles are God’s opportunities of calling us to Him.” And that if we face them with a humble heart, place our faith in God, and take the next right action, we will come through them better and stronger.

I have my own share of struggles yet thankful that I have help, and light when I needed. We might be crushed but not broken, struck down but not buried, abandoned but will never be forsaken. I do believe that there is good to be found even in the worst of situations if only we can gather the strength to look for it… the silver linings are always there.

Author: Annabelle Libao

*Published in TF Newsmag (September 2008 issue)